I'll Get One Tomorrow

Barber, barber, come and get me; Hairy torrents irk and fret me. Hair and hair again appears; And climbs like ivy round my ears. Hair across my collar gambols; Down my neck it wayward ambles. Ever down it trip it tickles; Yes, where it trips it tickles. Barber dear I wish I knew; Why i do not visit you. Why I grudge the minutes ten; In your smiling den. Why I choose to choke on hair; Rather than to mount your chair. Men no busier than I; Weekly to your office hie. Men no busier than myself; Confront the armory on your shelf; Men no wealthier than me; Gladly meet your modest fee. And for a fraction of a dollar; Keep the jungle off their collar. I alone am shy and flustered; Solitary, cowardly custard. Shaggy as a prize angore; Overrun with the creeping flora. Barber, barber, you’re in luck; The bell has rung, the hour has struck. Sloth strong, the hair is strong; I cannot stand it any long. Barber, barber here I come; Shake up the odorous bay rum. Bring on your shears your scythes, your snippers; Bring on your crisp electric driers. Employ a dozen extra sweepers; Bring giant harvesters and reapers. I warn you a bumper crop; Waits to overwhelm your shop. Braber, barber, be verbose; Be anything but clip me close. Leave me razored, leave me scissored Leave me hairless, as a lizard; Barber, barber, single and scald; Barber can’t you make me bald? I will be the happiest of men; And never think of you again.